Cupid & Psyche ...and Julia Roberts

The other night, I was browsing through Edith Hamilton's Mythology (yes, I read this, not exactly for fun, just for the heck of it) and stumbled again on the love story of the god Cupid (Love) and the mortal Psyche (Soul). Like the first time, I read it thinking how absurdly romantic it is.

I'm a girl. I'm genetically predisposed to desire that fairytale love story with its fairytale ending. I went through the phase where I imagined that my 'soulmate' would resemble a pocketbook leading man - the strong, silent type who would sweep me off my feet with frequent, grand and uncharacteristically romantic gestures. Fortunately, I got through that phase safely with my ideals intact but trimmed by a dash of realism.

Every girl, at some point in her life, has fantasized about her 'destiny', her true love, the man who'd move the earth, defy distance and conquer time for her; who'll want more than anything to spend every second with her. E-ve-ry se-cond. Someone who'll tell her how beautiful and perfect she is (ehem). It's almost like a classic Julia Roberts film.

To profoundly sum up my thoughts on this in one powerful word: Crap.

Psyche had fallen that first night without having even seen Cupid. She wasn't allowed to look at him, only to feel him beside her in the dark and hear his voice, but already she knew she has met her one great love. Psyche and Cupid's tale is just that - a tale. But even this myth tells us that it's not easy. Like a misinformed love story that got it the other way around (but given that her mortality makes her the inferior one), Psyche journeyed to the ends of the earth to prove herself worthy of the god of Love.

I'm not jaded or disenchanted. On the contrary, I am a big believer in Love, more so because in the real world, it takes hard, hard work. Because the truth is, something that important, that life-altering, that earth-shattering doesn't just get handed to you on a platter. Like the knight who slays dragons first before he can rescue the lazy, sleeping princess, you have to prove your merit.

I know a number of girls who got stuck in this pitfall, always looking for that fairytale romance in their relationships, that fairytale prince in their partner. Of course, they always get disappointed and end up ruining a promising real life love story.

We must realize that:

1) Relationship, even Love, is not the same as Commitment.

2) It will never be just about the two of you.
Genuine love should not be limiting and suffocating, rather it should be a circle that expands to include those who truly, sincerely care. Wanting to have time for family and friends, even time alone, doesn't mean you no longer enjoy each other's company. It makes you human, a social creature. Not wanting to, makes you obssessive. Or insane.

3) You will never know everything. You CANNOT know everything all the time.
Accept that this is a privilege that must be willfully granted, not forcibly taken. Trust that the other person is making the right judgment on what to tell you when he tells you, if it even needs to be told. You might just be making a big issue out of nothing. As what Cupid said when Psyche stole that first look after being explicitly told not to, "Love cannot live where there is no trust."

4) You are not two pieces of one puzzle that need only to be taken side by side to match perfectly.
You are two people, two personalities, two lives who were walking on separate paths until you met at a crossroad and decided to go down one path together. You start out with your rough edges bumping and clashing until, without realizing it, Love and Commitment have made you perfect together.

5) You are not Julia Roberts. And this ain't a movie.

Notes of an Escape Artist

I'm a nomad. I move around a lot.

In the past decade alone, I've had six "homes" in four cities. If I count the one where I spent most of my time for about three years, that would make seven in five. Before that, in high school, I moved three times. A couple of years ago, I worked, slept, and bathed in separate cities.

The first half of the last ten years were stable enough. I managed to get through college living at the house I was sharing with my cousin. That was my longest stay. The shortest was a month at a place where I moved into on impulse until, also on impulse, I packed all the clothes and shoes that I could fit into one suitcase and left behind everything else that I owned.

Because I'm practically a gypsy, I don't possess anything bigger than this laptop I'm typing on. I am an expert at packing. But whenever I move, I inevitably always leave something behind: a favorite pillow, priceless letters, a well-loved teddy bear, and always a piece of myself (*tear*).

As much as I want to say that I am a mere victim of circumstances, I have to admit that all I am is a victim of restlessness. Yes, all this running about is my choice. Well, as much of a choice as it can be for a person who craves a change of scenery as much as she is compelled to take her next breath.

If you're like me, the following personal learnings may come in handy:

1) A roomy, durable suitcase with wheels is a pretty good thing to have in case you wake up one morning with an impulse to, you know, run away.

2) Avoid getting too attached to bulky jackets, thick sweaters, big stuffed toys, cozy blankets, and all such things that give the most comfort on rainy nights. :(

3) Always have enough savings to cover at least three months' worth of downpayment in the event that you suddenly decide you want to move. Conversely, get used to unrecovered security deposits from your old place.

4) Do not work on a treasured 1000-piece puzzle for a month, have it framed, and put up on your wall. Whatever you do, just keep it safely in the box.

5) Keep soft copies of your DVD collection.

6) Get a good flat iron. Learn to love it. 'Cause it may just be the only piece of useful appliance you can afford to own right now, unless you're willing to haul around that big-screen TV you've been ogling.

7) If you're a girl: Yes, there is such a thing as having too much shoes.

8) Forget about starting a book collection at this point in your life.

9) Do not even think about getting a pet.


Lastly,

10) Move out, move on. :)

breaking the silence

for as long as i can remember, i have had a love affair with the written word.

i love books. i love to read what other people have to say. i look forward to being awed by an author's use of words, wondering how someone i have never met and will never meet can tell me exactly what i'm feeling. as though that someone did me the favor of ripping out those hesitant, garbled words stuck in my throat, allowing me to freely breathe again. i guess it's true that everyone feels the same way somehow, only not at the same time. we share the same humanity and the same human experience that although there is no way that one can know precisely what another is going through, i think that to someone somewhere, my encounters and my gibberish storytelling make a bit of sense.

and so after much forethought, with fingers crossed and deep breaths taken, i make this courageous attempt.

here goes nothing.